Wings Of the Centipede | Ch 14

Tommy is at the psychiatrist because he can’t stop thinking about cookies. He wants to click all the cookies in the world, even real ones.

“So doc, I have an addiction. Can ya help me?”

“I gotta know what the addiction is first.”

“Well ya see I’m addicted to this game called Cookie Clicker and every time I see a cookie I want to click it with my flippin finger… even though I’m a spyglass.”

“This is the worst case of the cookie clicker addiction I’ve seen.”

“Oh no… is it bad? It’s bad isn’t it?”

“Indeed it is.”

“So yah got anything that can help me?”

“Lots of therapy and deleting any web browsers from all your devices and never seeing a cookie again.”

“But doc I’ll go insane!”

“More than you already are?”

“Yep I’d have to set my cookie clicking button to the scroll wheel so I can click faster!”

“Tommy, this is the worst case I’ve ever seen and I’m not joking. Most people would have deleted all their web browsers by now.”

“But I can’t! It’s physically impossible for me to do that!”

“Then I don’t know how to help you.”

“But doc! If we let this continue I’ll likely invest all my money in cookies and then the stock market will crash and I’ll be broke! You can’t let that happen doc! Can you?”

“Well I guess I can help you with this. Please hand me your phone.”

“Ok doc.” Tommy hands over his phone.

The doctor deletes all his web browsers.

“Noo! How dare you?! You sick mule!” Tommy screams.

“It’s the only way that I can help you. Just remember if you re-download those browsers and play again you’ll go broke.”

“If the stock markets crashes and you by chance invest in sugar, well sugar is mostly what cookies are made of so not only will I be broke; you will be broke!”

“But wait! I’ve already invested half my savings in Sugar Clicker!”

“Oh my! You need psychiatric help!”